|
no more lies
▪ about me
▪ fighters
▪ inspirations
|
|
|
|
|
This is the end of my journey with Blogger. I'ved moved to Wordpress.
|
|
I really shouldn't be typing and blogging now, I've got tons of work including a mid-term tomorrow, but I just feel so restless, somewhat in a pensieve mood.
I've been reading some blogs and doing some reflection. It's been about 3 years since I had AN. Though my ED has definitely subsided, I wouldn't go out so far as to say I'm fully recovered. I dunno, there seems to be this devil still lurking inside. Like, I still shy away from certain types of food (mostly fried food, fast food etc) and stick to safe ones. I try to eat healthy. Actually maybe I don't need to try cos what I like is mostly healthy stuff. Is this still considered an ED? Well first of all I'm still not comfortable with by body image. I definitely could do with more pounds. Yet, I can't bring myself to increase my food intake. It is as if I've reached a plateau (weight-wise and mentally-wise). Actually I haven't even reached my minimum healthy weight as what the doctors call it. Mum attributes it to bone loss. Idk... My thoughts are all over the place now. I really don't know what I want out of life. Like today I was studying for my Genetics test and looking at words like TFIID, TFIIB, primosome, replisome and all those terminologies I started thinking why I was even studying all this at all. Sure, Life Science was my first choice as it was my passion. I even considered being a researcher/scientist before. But after 8 weeks into uni life (has it only been 8 weeks? I feel as if it had already been a semester), I feel so drained...kind of lonely and basically in a identity crisis. Maybe the readings from my writing class (Sites of Tourism) have gotten too much into my head, I'm starting to doubt the meaning of authenticity in the world. Do I even want to get out of ED? I'm don;t even know how to describe my status now. I feel so...at a loss. Depressing thoughts aside, I was actually looking forward to a real "recess" week since this week is E-learning week. Haha I've actually done my e-learning last weekend so I thought I was quite free until....the bomb came yesterday. Gotta do genetics lab report by next mon and on top of that I having a virtual paper conference with my prof tmr (over the phone, it's so weird) and another paper due on sunday. So much for looking forward to this week. Why are my posts always about school? Hmm...I shall think of more intersting and enlightening topics to write about next time. As for now, I have to proceed on with studying. Sigh. Can't wait for this sem to end man. |
|
Yay!!! I'm done with my 6 page essay and basically feel so liberated. Anyhoooo, yesterday I had my Biochemistry CA1 and although it was weird that they just read out the answers right after the test, I'm proud to get only one mcq wrong! Which means I did pretty well, heh.
Although I was in a rush home yesterday as I needed to complete my essay, one cannot ever neglect one's wellbeing right? I'm done with Nature's Path Ginger Zing Granola, so it meant that I had to restock. To save time I stopped over TTSH's pharmacy instead of Cold Storage. Besides, the pharmacy sells pretty much what I needed. I bought: - Origin's raw oat bran (oat cravings strike!) - Almond nut butter (I tried to survive on flax seeds but alas, I need my nut butttahs!!) - Go Natural Breakfast bars: walnut, date & maple (cool beans, I've never seen this flavour anywhere else) So that basically sums it up. This morning I whipped up a gorgeous breakfast of whipped banana oat bran porridge topped with a generous dollop of almond butta. I like how the almond butter, or whatever nut butter for that matter, melts from the heat of freshly cooked oats and becomes all gooey and oh-so-spreadable. Yum! Nothing beats nut butter-banana combos.  I'm currently suffering from a major stomachache so excuse me as I relieve myself. |
|
What an paradox. Norman Anti-virus is supposed to prevent random dangerous pop-ups and adverts and it alerts (through pop-ups) you whenever some "program is trying to connect to the Internet". But this alerts are driving me crazy for they pop-up like twenty times per minute. This is so irritating which makes me want to just uninstall stupid Norman. Can't find a way to disable those pop-ups unless I disconnect from the internet which of course is not a feasible idea. Doh.
On another note, I spend like almost 3 hours sitting in front on my lappy trying to squeeze out a possible thesis and motive for paper 2. The problem is not that I can't think of one. Quite the contrary, there are so many possible ones that now I'm so confused! And I need to produce a 4-6 page essay by Saturday 2pm. My indecisiveness is definitely not helping either. Keep vacillating between Bauman/Iyer/Happy Together. Ok. I have decided and will not change my mind any more. I'm sticking with Iyer and HT. Looks like I can't have much sleep tonight. |
|
 I'm so proud of my effort into making tonight's dinner. Now I understand the hype over sweet potatoes, esp. the orange australia variety. It's uber smooth, creamy and bursting with natural sweetness. And it's so easy, pop the potato in the oven and 45 mins later, it's done! No hassale. I had half my sweet potato with Copperpot's sundried tomato pesto (eating cheese in pesto form is somehow less scary). On the sides are blanched french beans, japanese cherry tomatoes, chunky tuna pieces and my favourite green baby apple. Tests today were marginally ok. I'm never satisfied with myself. Ok got lots of stuff to do. I'll leave with some pictures dug out from the archives of my phone.  Last night's dinner: homemade multigrain sandwich with fassler's smoked salmon, turkey breast (fish and turkey meat together!), alfalfa sprouts, cuc, tomato slices and toasted to perfection! Beats subway handsdown and rivals cedele! (Yes that's a winnie the pooh plate i'm using :) )  Just look at the innards... so crunchy! Really have to leave now as much as I want to write so much more...ciao! Labels: sandwich, sweet potato, tuna |